October Revolution........ A little too late perhaps!

The "holier than thou" attitude of democracy is absolutely unpardonable. Winston Churchill once said " Democracy is not the best form of government but I will stick by it until I find a better form" and this attitude clearly represents the pomp with which democratic countries conduct themselves.

Was reading this article in the New Yorker about Noah Webster. Apparently inspite of his reputation as a highly educated man, Noah Webster strongly opposed granting voting rights to everybody. He seemed to think that only selected members of society should be granted the right to vote. Granting the right to everybody would mean demeaning the right itself

Ridiculous as it might sound, I mildly agree. The right to vote is just one of many others. If there is any argument to support the fact that everybody has equal voting rights, that argument can be further extended to justify equal property for everybody which is the thesis of communism. So we have reached a contradiction, or have we?

What we have is an exposure of the fallacy of giving equal voting rights to everybody. Let me explain. Consider the capitalist mindset that you dont share your riches with anybody and what you earn is just yours because YOU worked hard for it. Now draw a parallel with a plutarchy or aristocracy where only nobles or wise men or rich people have the right to vote. One can always argue that these people EARNED the right to vote and the others have not. So we have justified an aristocracy! What is so sacred about the right to vote that it is the only thing we want to equate across the board. It doesn't matter if you are poor or dont have an education, but you have the right to vote. That is a sorry attitude.

Frankly, I feel communism is the only political theory which can really be justified. It uses the simple logic that we are all born equal and all the resources we have should be equally shared. But the tragedy is that it doesn't work in practice. And I attribute that to two reasons

1) The whole problem of solving the problems of people is intractable. What I mean is that.......... the typical way to do it is to have representatives but that is a contradiction which plagues both democracy and communism. The very fact that some person is a representative places him at a different stratum from the others and defeats the original axiom that all humans are equal. So democracy is out. In communism, by giving absolute powers to a group of people, you could have disastrous consequences like dictatorship.

2) Human history has been plagued (yeah, I dare to use that word!) by a sort of capitalist mindset from the beginning of Time. The only way we can undo the damage is by starting afresh, which we cant. What i mean is the following. Lets say we declare a communist world from this moment onwards. The guys who are below the average are going to be happy and the guys above the average are going to hate it. And the reason why we can never shift to communism is because the guys who are above the average are the guys who hold sway in the capitalist world

A lot of people say that communism will not work because there is no incentive for people to excel, because they are going to share the fruits of their labour anyway. Firstly I think thats one of the most selfish statements to make. That statement destroys in one stroke the rhetoric about "one world one people". Secondly, I admit that the industrially lethargic attitude is inevitable as you could see in communist russia. But I would attribute that to the fact that we have been so accustomed to the capitalist philosophy that it will always prevent us from understanding the beauty of communism. For example, if I am a successful industrialist and you declare the world communist ( ?!?!?! like you could...... but anyway!!), then I'll have to share my money with the smallest worker in my company. Of course I would be unhappy....... not because I dont have enough for myself but because I remember those capitalist days and think about how much more I could be earning.

How I wish we could erase all memory and start afresh in a communist world. Then you can remove one word from the dictionary................. GREED!

The Soprano

Recently, I have been looking for what really is driving my existence.... and I have been getting the most unexpected answers. Most of the things which prod me to go on, I cant even mention because they are either stupid and ridiculous or obscene and sick. But there are a few things I can mention. Thats what this post is all about.

Now for those of you who are still under the delusion that the title of a post should have something to do with whats in it........ WAKE UP! We are in the age of absurdity; the age of shameless and rationalized absurdity. (thats more moronic than oxymoronic......... as against the cheap welding flame which leaves that ugly scar ... more oxy than oxy-acetylene)( Cant believe I wrote that previous line...... and cant believe you are reading my asides, much less my posts!). Anyway, as we can see in the world around us, whats in a name? One of the hottest selling vodkas is Kalashnikov.. named after the luminary who has lent a new dimension to 20th century violence. The lady who sings the most obscene songs with the most obscene music has named herself Madonna. Saurav Ganguly calls (or atleast used to call) his teammates "the boys" while Javagal Srinath and Anil Kumble were sordidly looking on at this upstart who calls himself the "Tiger of Bengal". The story of an Indian family with random reincarnations , easy-to-find "hamshakls", convenient memory loss, widespread polygamy and vicious relatives is called "Kahani Ghar Ghar ki". And finally the bloody serial about gangwars and mindless violence is called "The Sopranos"

Ah... you let out a sigh! Hold your breath. Thats not the only connection this post has with sopranos. Let me refresh your mind. I started this post with some profound thoughts about why I think I should prod myself to go on.(Does that ring a bell? ......or have my digressions served thier purpose!). I started engaging in this profound line of thought after I attended this concert by the world renowned mezzo-soprano Cecilia Bartoli. It was my first classical concert experience and let me start off by saying that it blew my mind. Most people find this hard to believe, because I have a severely limited knowledge of opera and they fail to understand how I could enjoy it so thoroughly inspite of not being able to appreciate the nuances. But you know...... all the talk about "music without borders" and all that which you scoffed at........... well guess you've got to eat humble pie now and huge portions of it.

I had my apprehensions before buying the ticket which was a neat 35 bucks. But, I had just received my stipend that day and you know the thing with money, dont you. It follows the law of diminishing returns(read balance). 90% of my money is spent in 40% of the time. And the other 60% of the time is spent thinking about how I lost my money or blogging or anything else which doesn't cost money. So it appeared that I had bought my ticket in youthful folly. But I still waited with bated breath for the day of the concert. Got back from office much earlier than usual and listened to some random classical pieces just to set myself up. I then realised that while I was lost in my dreams dancing an imaginary waltz with Julianne Moore to the music of Tchaikovsky, I had gotten late. I hurried and made it to the concert hall just in time for the concert. I was all shabby and sweating and panting and inspired quite a few concerned glances as I walked in. I collected my guide book for that evening's performance and proceeded to sit down after asking half the audience to move while trying to get to my seat. I caught my breath, straightened my shirt, tied my shoelaces and tried to stay still and be on my best behaviour. The guy that I am, I found it quite hard to handle all the polite coughing, the "god-bless-yous" when you sneeze and the elbow etiquette (never managed to figure out who gets to keep their elbow on the armrest when you are sharing a common armrest). Nevertheless, I pulled myself together and steeled myself up for the best behaviour of my life. I looked around and noticed a couple of things. Firstly, most of the guys in the audience were in the "sunset years" of their life so to say. Secondly, a more than reasonable number of them were dressed in glorious black suits and I seemed like an out-of-place twerp. Just when these thoughts were clouding my mind, God relented and the lights went off.

The orchestra players walked in to a cultured applause ( my description of an applause not punctuated by random catcalls and "xyz rules" and little girls screeching). While they took their places, my mind was already being overwhelmed by the visual spectacle. All the ladies in their flowing black evening gowns and the men in impeccable suits; The 35 bucks was a distant memory. Just while I was congratulating myself on making one of the few good choices in my life, the audience roused to welcome the woman herself, Cecilia Bartoli, or as the Italians would say Chechilia Baartholi. At once I was entranced by this angel in a flowing green gown which was glistening under the spotlight. She took a bow and thumped her fist against her heart to indicate her gratitude. The concert began .

Words cannot express the pleasure the heart feels when you hear the voice as it tears across the hall not in a way that disrupts the piece but in a way that it becomes part of the flowing music. The distinctly feminine voice portrays both the gentleness and the strength blended together in a way only a woman can. The way she could evoke different emotions like happiness,sorrow, revenge, gratitude and love really amazed me. For the period of time I was inside there, none of my worries seemed even remotely significant. I was thinking to myself that I'd go through a life of pain if I could occasionally be afforded such a pleasurable experience.

Three hours and three glorious encores later, I was filing outside the hall distinctly happier. Life seemed to have more colour than it had before. You know those movies which are called "feel-good", they dont know what the hell they are talking about. This was feel-good and as "feel-good as it gets". I feel so impaired that the pleasure I derived from this experience, I cannot express. I guess thats why its called art. But what I can tell you about is Cecilia Bartoli's latest CD called "Opera Proibita". This CD features opera from the 18th century when opera was banned by the Vatican. Apparently Rome had escaped from what could have been a great disaster and in order to thank the gods, the Vatican banned public performances of any kind. But great composers like Handel, Scarlatti and Caldara continued to produce great operas. To revive these operas, Cecilia Bartoli has released this CD. These operas were actually written for castratos (males who were castrated to develop a feminine voice) since women were not allowed to perform. So essentially this album is a reinterpretation of those arias. Funnily, the album cover is based on the "La Dolce Vita" cover, a movie which was also banned by the Vatican. Needless to say, this album is a must-have if you want to enjoy some wonderful afternoons alone or with your significant others.

It is experiences like these which drive me on from day to day in the hope that at the end of the stinking routine, there is something which will make me glad I'm alive. Like I was pointing out to a friend, it really doesn't matter what I am doing for a living because in any situation, it is the other things in life which capture my imagination. At which my friend remarked wryly, "Ha! the eternal dream of a human is to be a professional dilletante"

Steely Dan: Now you CAN buy a thrill!

When you're done with Metallica and Maiden and the mindless headbanging; if you're tired of long hair, cacophonous guitar solos, pretentious lyrics and the tedium that metal brings. Here's just the messiah to deliver you from the pretence of trying to enjoy the same stuff in new noisy packages. A band with brilliant talent, superb innovation and jazz sensibilities......and no frills attached. Check this out.... in their Live concert, Donald Fagen introduces the band saying " We are the all new Steely Dan orchestra and we are going to play some MUSIC for you". Yeah, just MUSIC. No yelling. No abusive language. No animal slaughter.

If you are about to skip this article 'cos it's about 'just another unheard of band, I'd like to clarify that this is not soem vague European band with exactly 2 hits and 12 breakups in 20 years. On the other hand, it is an American band (and dont frown at that!) with 7 critically acclaimed albums of supreme quality. It is the modern image of the only musical culture America has reason to be proud of. Drawing heavily on ragtime, jazz and South American influences, Steely Dan has synthesized these to create the artform that their music has become. Steely Dan's music represents the transition from classical jazz to 'rock', as it were, while still retaining the innocence and the sex appeal, if you will, of the former.

When you listen to a Steely Dan number, the first thing which strikes you is its Bohemian nature. Those novel chords, the teasing bass lines and the passionate, yet controlled drumming.... and all these blended together in blissful harmony. Each piece revolves around one compelling and haunting bar. This tantalising an apparently inaccessible nature of their music might lead you to dismiss it as insipid at first. Much like you would write off Monet's art as patchy and imperfect. It is only with repeated listenings that you can fathom the beauty and the mindboggling detail in each piece.

The guitar solos, have a distinct musical quality and are creatively incorporated into the scheme of things( and not mere finger gymnastics). The sax solos ( played by greats like Wayne Shorter and Walt Weiskopf) take you on a musical roller coaster ride; and though you might feel like you are on a freefall in a bottomless abyss, you are overwhelmed by the flowing melody and a surge of adrenalin, that only Steely Dan can manage to create. However, my favorite feature of Steely Dan music is their unique ability to play that perfect note, or time that perfect beat, which causes a rush of sentiment and instantly helps you relate to the song.

To cap it all, Steely Dan manages to strike the right chords with their lyrics too. ( yeah…. I know that sounds awful). Their songs are a welcome relief from the usual anti war crap, senseless rebellion, ‘head over heels’ love and ‘give the children freedom’ issues; Issues that America really has no business to be talking about. Instead, they are songs which talk about how things have changed and how whimsical it appears to an outside observer. About all those strange people you meet and the strange things they do, about the crazy adventures you’ve had, all those memories from childhood which seem surreal in retrospect. A number of songs have a melancholic undertone, the disappointment of being a forgotten star of the past or the visceral hatred of all those guys who never lose. But this hatred is not communicated as a violent outburst but as a sort of mellow requiem to the dead hopes and aspirations. A sort of epicurean, lackadaisical and whimsical attitude dominates the lyrics.

This is the part of the article when I run out of ideas. So, I thought I’d just put together some of my favourite lines from Steely Dan songs. So here goes.

In Cousin Dupree, this Dupree guy suddenly meets his cousin after a long time and is bowled over. He says with evident effrontery

Honey, how you’ve grown… like a Rose

Well , we used to play when we were three

How about a kiss for your Cousin Dupree

In Midnite Cruiser, there is this characteristic nostalgic line

The world that we used to know

People tell me it don’t turn no more

The places we used to go

Familiar faces that aint smiling like before

The time of our times has come and gone

I fear we’ve been waiting too long.

In Jack of Speed, which is about this guy who becomes a drug addict, there is a line which is as frightening as it is beautiful

Teddy’s rolling almost every night

Skating backwards at the speed of light

And finally in Everything must go, they are talking about giving it all up when they say,

Talk about your major pain and suffering
Now our self-esteem is shattered
Show the world our mighty hidey-ho face
As we go sliding down the ladder
It was sweet up at the top
'Til that ill wind started blowing
Now it's cozy down below
'Cause we're goin' out of business
Everything must go

From Charlie to Calvin : It's losers ball

Charles. M. Schulz and Bill Watterson are probably the greatest cartoonists of the 20th century. They lent a new dimension to the art of writing cartoon strips and introduced a new genre of cartoon strips where the writing was as important as the art. Their handling of everyday issues and chronicling of innocent yet melancholic childhood has created an immense fan following.
The most prominent similarity between "Peanuts" and "Calvin and Hobbes" is that both strips are about losers. It gives a unique perspective of the world through the eyes of a loser. On one side we have Charlie Brown,the inveterate worrier. He can be spotted in his sweater, head down, hands in his pockets heading towards Lucy's psychiatric clinic. He's awful at baseball and flying kites, but is undeterred in his quest to conquer adversity. He greatly adores his li'l sister Sally, the sweet girl next door who is always looking for the easy way out and whose view of life gives us an insight into the frustration and confusion that kids experience. Then there is Linus and his security blanket, the intellectual who comes up with deep philosophical revelations. And of course Snoopy, the dreaming beagle and his little companion Woodstock. Schroeder- the Beethoven afficionado, the loud, argumentative, know-all, selfish, crabby Lucy, the baseball star and academic dud Peppermint Patty complete the scene. These are all the people you ever knew as a child and it is this close resemblance to everything in the real world that has endeared "Peanuts" to a whole generation of people.
On the other hand there is Calvin, every parent's nightmare and every little boy's dream. Calvin is very much like Charlie at heart but the essential difference is because of the time the two cartoon characters were created. Charlie and co. were from another generation where children were still little angels going about their own business and settling their own squabbles(there is no adult main character in Peanuts at all!); he lives in an American society rather different from Calvin's. Calvin is thrust into the far more liberal and materialistic world of the eighties and imbibes all the american values. Through Calvin's opinions, Watterson tries to convey how ridiculous the "American dream" is. The birth of heavy metal, the violence on T.V, the philosophy of advertisements,the cold war, the flawed education system- Watterson takes potshots at all these issues through Calvin.
Calvin is vibrant, outrageous, disgusting, the eternal dreamer, the guy with the great ideas, the unfailing optimist, the cutthroat entrepreneur, the academic dud, the economic analyst and the solemn philosopher all rolled into one. Hobbes is the common sense part of Calvin. He is Calvin's sounding board,confidante,companion on his various adventures and at the same time he scares him, teases him,and taunts him. There is an air of maturity about Hobbes and his wry,sarcastic and witty statements are a perfect foil for Calvin's foolhardy ideas.
Watterson has also sprinkled in all the other "more normal" characters. There is Calvin's classmate Susie Derkins -the teacher's pet who is eternally worrying about her post-graduate studies.She is always at loggerheads with Calvin over snowballs, lunchboxes and class assignments; Then there is Calvin's Mom and Dad who keep quarrelling over why they didn't buy a daschund instead; Moe , the biggest jerk you ever knew ;and Miss Wormwood whose nicotine addiction grew after Calvin came along.
Bill Watterson himself cites "Peanuts" as one of his deepest influences. But the similarities between the two strips are still striking, to say the least. Calvin's lemonade and "great ideas" stalls remind us of lucy's psychiatric clinic. Snowballs and snowmen are a regular feature in both these strips, more so in C&H. Snoopy's escapades as the Red Baron and ErichEagle is probably the inspiration for the alter-egos of Calvin- stupendous Man , spaceman Spiff, the T-Rex, Tracer Bullet and several others. Perhaps, both of them seek to convey the sense of running away from the drudgery of everyday life. While Snoopy is embroiled in the post World War turmoil, Calvin is part of a world where values and ethics seem to have vanished and " it's all about the money, honey".
Though the two cartoon strips are penned in the same vein, both the cartooning styles are quite different. While Watterson seems to have a more elaborate drawing style and his writing is par excellence, Schulz is known for his simple, innocent cartoons with sparing strokes.
The characters of both these strips seem to have a more than normal intelligence, a very important requirement for the author to get the most subtle ideas across. It gives the cartoonist the advantage of a child's innocence while trying to convey ideas of deep significance. They are both cartoon strips written essentially for adults; it whips up the nostalgia and reminds you how it was to be a kid; itching to bomb your school, wanting to know what adult movies are all about, clamouring for that extra hour of TV, scoring a duck, dropping a catch and getting pushed around by all the other bullies, hoping your partner will complete your project, wanting to be a millionaire without making a shred of an effort.
These strips are a welcome change from the usual strips that hog the newspapers. For one, it is not about some superhuman guy with rippling muscles, the upholder of democracy, the harbinger of peace and prosperity out to rescue the hapless human race from the clutches of some mad scientist or extraterrestrial out to destroy the world with his laser gun and nuclear missiles. Nor is it about some run-of-the-mill husband-wife cartoon strips with the age-old jokes and stupid banter. Or about some handsome dude in college who does nothing but look good and let out snappy one-liners to the swooning ladies. These cartoon strips are about little children who are trying to make sense of the whole wide world and all its incongruities.